Covering the ground with leather
When our family goes camping, I like to clear all the bindis around the tent so that we can connect with the earth through our bare feet. It takes a good while and I often miss some, which become the painful reminder of the limited control I have over my external world.
It reminds me of some wise musings by the Buddhist teacher Shantideva, who spoke of our tendency to want to ‘cover the world in leather’ so as to avoid pain. He goes on to say, that if you want to protect your feet, wear shoes; and if you want to protect yourself from the worlds provocations, tame your mind. The antidote to misery is to stay present.
It seems pretty human to want to avoid anything that makes us feel uncomfortable. In fact, we have done a very good job of controlling our environments; sanitising, air- conditioning, renovating and when none of this works we leave or demolish. In our interactions with others, more and more we are surrounding ourselves with others that think like us, affirm our beliefs, values and aesthetic, while avoiding those who seem alien to our worldview. We do this with anything that pushes our buttons as being too different, not enough, overly confronting or boring. It is an innate way that we meet our instinctual needs for safety and belonging, yet it creates a dependency upon things being within our control….and that just isn’t always possible or healthy.
Many of the people that I work with are struggling with the parts of their world that are causing pain. They have usually spent time and energy trying to change their body, relationships, employment situation, finances or geographical location so as to create the life they want, and sometimes they succeed- for a while. Until it happens again or in a whole new way.
It seems there is a gift of learning to be had when faced with challenge, and it will keep presenting itself until we accept and allow it to teach us. We can walk around trying to remove all the bindis or cover the ground in leather, or we can find ways to change our responses to the situation.
The Greek philosopher Epicurus observed that people are not disturbed by events alone, but by the views they take of them.
The answer lies within us.
Any time we feel ourselves reacting to something, it is an invitation to check in with the story that we believe about that person, thing or event. It is an opportunity to witness places that are challenged or wounded within ourselves and an opportunity to meet our own needs, allowing ourselves to take personal responsibility and others to do the same. This is freedom. Putting shoes on means you can walk just about anywhere and growing in mindful self-awareness means you can live your life from a place of response rather than reaction. A place of an open heart rather than growing cynicism and mistrust.
When I work with people who wish to cultivate this mindfulness and take back the power to respond well to their world regardless of the circumstances, it is like watching a flower unfold into its true beauty. It can’t be forced. But when it is given time, warmth and the right conditions, it slowly becomes what it was always meant to be.
Making space for all that you are experiencing or carrying allows for those things to be seen (sometimes this looks like making marks on paper and sometimes it looks like connecting with them in your body through visualisation). The idea is to create that safe space and ways of belonging to yourself.
When people learn ways of being with their challenges, amazing transformations occur. The challenges don’t always leave (interestingly they seem to gain permission to transform too, much of the time –perhaps in the learning of the lesson) yet the individual is now a different shape and they no longer have the same impact. They are stronger and more resilient for their life journey.
Have shoes, will travel.
I am glad we travel the same road,
Till we meet somewhere again along the path,
In kindness,
Naomi Wild
Artist-Therapist-Educator
Founder of Newcastle art Therapy
Photo by Patrick Miyaoka on Unsplash